Fat and Happy

As promised in an earlier post....here are a few photos from our amazing sister-in-law-in-law Stephanie Yonce.

Such an amazing gift!!!

29 weeks!!!!!!!!!

We hit 29 weeks tomorrow!

Baby is moving and kicking all of the time now.

It's incredible.

I can literally spend an entire morning or evening just lying back in bed or on the couch, watching baby use my stomach as a punching bag.

It's unreal.

There is someone in there....growing...listening to my voice...feeling my movements, reacting to touch. 

I honestly can't wait to meet him or her.

The pregnancy is going as well as possible.  We found out at our last appointment that I had partial placenta previa and so we've been closely monitored.

I'm happy to report that today's appointment showed the placenta has now moved away from the cervix so we are in the clear.

However, my doctor did say she was slightly concerned because baby measured a little small.

We have another appointment next week with a specialist to talk about this and figure out if I simply need to up my protein or supplement intake or if I also need to be on....

dun dun dun..........

bed rest.

YIKES!

I'm hoping its protein!!!!!!!!

I don't have a belly shot to share with you this week...but know this...I'm GINORMOUS.

Instead, I'll share a photo of our little one taken at today's appointment....

23 Weeks.....

I honestly can't believe we've already reached 23 weeks in this pregnancy!

I also can't believe I haven't been blogging more about this amazing time!  LOL!  You'd  think with how much time I'm spending at home (in bed) that I could manage to maintain a blog.  But no...I'm that tired!  LOL!

Anyway, here is a list of things I've learned over the last several weeks:

I have a thing for dinosaurs.  If you know me, you probably already knew that.  But something I didn't know:  I apparently think our baby is also going to have a thing for dinosaurs.  During our weekend registry marathon I registered for several dino-related items for our little one.  I also apparently think our little one is going to have a thing for elephants.  =)

We've entered new territory:  also during our registry marathon....we were introduced to butt paste and nipple brushes.  Uh.........

Pinterest:  if you have a specific project you're working on...this is how you become addicted.  I've been on Pinterest for awhile now but never really found much use of it...but as soon as I wanted nursery ideas....BAM!  I'm on there almost every day!

Tickle monster:  I'm apparently ticklish from the inside-out.  Our baby has been moving an awful lot lately and each time I feel those butterfly kiss-like sensations I giggle. 

Oscar the grouch:  If I get too hungry....evil cranky Amanda appears....

Home-sick: not even home-sick really, family-sick.  I miss my family more now than I ever have before.  It saddens me to know they can only participate in this amazing time from afar.  It hurts my heart to be so far away from them.

Peanut Butter Multigrain Cheerios: best thing to hit the grocery stores since white bread.  Seriously.  Completely addicted.

Quarter-caf:  my local starbucks has now added a "quarter-caf" to their forte since I'd been going in so often asking for a tall coffee with just 1/4 regular and the rest decaf.  I feel kind of honored!

Hormones:  I'm noticing more and more at work that negativity is getting harder and harder to deal with.  Typically, my sunny disposition helps in these scenarios.  But lately, I just want to stop listening to it and get on with my day.

The Belly:  It finally happened.  A woman that works in my building who sees me every day finally gravitated to my growing belly and began to rub.  And what did I do?  I stood there and enjoyed it!  It felt AWESOME!  I would have stood there for 5 minutes if she kept rubbing! When I told my husband this, he was not pleased.  He doesn't like other people touching my belly and he REALLY doesn't like that I enjoyed it so much.  Men.  ; )

And here's the belly shot of the week:

That just happened.........

At work, walking from the kitchen back to my cube I'm stopped by our lovely and sweet custodian and the following conversation takes place:

Carole: Hi!  Did you get to go home for the holidays?

Me: No, not this time.  We went home earlier in the year for my Mom's birthday though and it was wonderful.

Carole: Oh, well did you still have a good Christmas?

Me: I did!  My husbands family is here so we were all together, it was great!

Carole: That's wonderful.  [Looks down at my belly]  So did you swallow a turkey over the holidays?

Me: [Laughing] Nope! 

Carole: [Surprised look on face] OH! Are you expecting?!?!?!

Me: [Laughing some more] Yup!

Carole: Oh my!  How many months are you?

Me: [Calculating in my head 18 divided by 4] 4 and a half months!

Carole: Oh that's wonderful!  I noticed you were getting fat in the face [framing my face]  but I thought it was so pretty on you! 

Me: [Slightly mortified] Yeah, I know I've definitely gained weight. [Awkward laugh]

Carole: Oh no its lovely on you!  Congratulations!  That's wonderful news!

So while I was told I'm getting fat in the face...at least some people think it looks pretty on me!  LOL!!!!!

Growing.....

It's hard to believe we're going to be 14 weeks tomorrow!

Baby started as just a spec on a screen:

And then turned into a cute...blob....

 And now baby is looking more and more like.................................... a baby!

I had a prenatal visit on Monday with my Dr. and they checked baby's heart rate with a fetal doppler.  The sound of that little child's heartbeat was absolutely mesmerizing.

I broke down and purchased one so we could hear baby's heartbeat anytime we wanted...


enjoy.......

A Bout of Melancholy...

Disclaimer:

The purpose of the following post is not to attract attention or sympathy...it's merely a method for which I can release disturbing thoughts.

I'm in love with life.

But sometimes...I allow myself to feel sorry for...well...myself.

Many of my pregnant friends will be having their babies in the coming months.

Others already have.

A cousin just celebrated her baby's first birthday.

Another cousin's baby's birthday isn't far behind.

All of our nephews continue to grow handsome and strong.

I'll be stepping in on a project for a co-worker that will be out on maternity leave soon.

I'm completely surrounded by pregnancies or new/young life...and that's OK 80% of the time....

but the other 20% is just...depressing.

And I have nobody to blame but myself.

It's funny.....that's essentially what my best friend said to me before we severed ties with one another. She told me my husband and I were just making excuses. That if I really wanted a child I would have had one by now. Our falling out stems from bigger issues than that but that statement served as the catalyst.

And now, many months later, I realize she was right...

it's my own fault I don't yet have children.

I haven't explored every possible avenue and have only sought minimal professional assistance. And that's not because of the fact that I'm terrified of what we'll find out or that seeking professional help is costly...it's because I'm still clinging to this ridiculous thing called hope. Hope that we will have children naturally.

I feel stupid for saying that after 4 years of trying.

Dear friends of ours didn't wait 4 years when they realized they couldn't naturally conceive. They researched, they planned, they saved and they got pregnant within a year.

Other dear friends of ours also took that route.

So why is this such an obstacle for me?

Why is this such an obstacle for my husband?

Why can't I let go of my hope when it has failed me every month for the past several years?