Life without Kea, a year later...

We lost our Kea girl a year ago today.  And while it's only been a year, it feels as though it's been much longer since we last cuddled with our little "baby cakes".

Jody and I got Kea while we were still dating (we were both in the Air Force and living together in a basement that we rented from another AF acquaintance at the time).

We didn't mean to purchase her from a pet store...we were simply going to "look" to see what type of dog we wanted.  And there she was....the smallest and unhealthiest looking puppy I'd ever seen.  We knew we wanted her the moment we saw her.  And we knew we needed to get her out of that pet store.

And so, little Kealoha Lani Des Roches joined our tribe.

We tried fattening her up as quickly as possible but as she continued to grow, we realized this was a typical boxer trait....to remain skinny and lean.

Kea was a delightful part of our lives, but in all honesty, she and I didn't have the best of relationships at the start.  We were both females competing for Jody's attention.  And she was MUCH cuter than me, so she often won those battles.  ; )

Kea and Jody had a bond I'd never seen between human and animal before.

I'd grown up without pets so to witness the devotion Kea had for Jody....well...it was amazing...and wonderful....and completely endearing.

Nothing could keep Kea away from Jody.  Nothing.

At one point (after I'd moved back home to Hawaii and Jody stayed in Colorado) Kea jumped out of the back of Jody's car while he ran in to a Home Depot.  According to witnesses, she apparently ran straight for the Depot entrance to follow Jody in but someone saw her and tried to corral her and she ran off in the opposite direction. This Home Depot was many miles from where Jody lived at the time.

I remember getting the call from Jody that she'd run off....I'd never heard him so frantic in the 2 years I'd known him.

She went missing for days.

My heart hurt for Jody.  I knew he'd be devastated if anything happened to her.

And then a few days later, I got another call from Jody.

A family had found Kea walking on the side of the road and took her in.  She hadn't been wearing a collar but they checked with the local animal shelters (each of which had been called by Jody and given a description of Kea) and they were able to get in touch with Jody.

The road where the family found her was apparently half way between the Home Depot and home.

I truly believe she was making her way back to Jody.

When Jody and I got married, I'd had Gridgery for about a year.  Gridge and Kea met for the first time in the back of Jody's car while we said our vows in a Vegas drive-thru wedding. 

When the four of us moved in together....Kea and Gridge didn't really know what to make of each other...

They didn't really play, they didn't fight, they just kind of....tolerated one another.

Four weeks and a new bed spread later...they were inseparable...

We were a family of four.....

My relationship with Kea was drastically different at that point.  No longer did we compete for Jody's attention.  There were four of us.  Jody had Kea, I had Gridge.  And if Jody wanted to cuddle with me, Kea could cuddle with Gridge.

Though most of the time, both Kea and Gridge just wanted to cuddle with us...

Life with these pups was absolutely wonderful.  Obviously we had our ups and downs....but they both taught us so much...

love, patience, devotion, responsibility.

We were so lucky to have two magical souls in our lives for the time we did.

A year ago today since her passing and I feel guilty in admitting that I haven't grieved as much over the loss of Kea as I did over the loss of Gridge.  Obviously the bonds were different.  Kea was Jody's dog.  Gridge was my dog.  But I think the other reason is because we've had so much going on.

When we lost Gridge to cancer, we had just purchased a house and while that was definitely a HUGE distraction from my grief, it only kept my grief at bay for a little while.

When we lost Kea, we were just heading to Hawaii for a 3 week stay, we were in the middle of infertility treatments, we had a LOT of recreational activities taking place, we'd adopted another boxer....there was just so much going on that I couldn't possibly let myself get lost in my grief.  I don't know if Jody feels the same way.  We deal with grief differently.  But I know he misses his Kea-girl.

Thank you Kea and Gridge for loving us so well.

Meet Kozy...

(April 17, 2010)

It's been about 8 months since I lost my baby boy.

I've been lonely.

I know that sounds ridiculous considering I have wonderful friends, an absolutely amazing husband and a baby girl...but Kea (baby girl) has always been my husbands dog.

Gridgery (my baby boy) was always mine.

The equilibrium in the house has been off since Gridge died.

We always had a dog (each of us) to play with, hug, walk, etc.

It's so, so different with just three of us.

I'd been entertaining the idea of getting another puppy for a few weeks now.

I know in my heart I will never, ever have what I had with Gridge, and that I will never, ever find another Gridge....but I need to love something again.

My husband was apprehensive of getting a new puppy, especially in our brand new house (with carpets still intact).

So we compromised.

I'd like to introduce you to the new addition to our family...

Meet Kozy.

He's a 3 year old male boxer that needed a good home.

And he's trouble....

but a little trouble is exactly what I need right now.  =)

Bad days....

(November 5, 2009)

I'm smiling, laughing, having fun as much as possible, but there are still days when I just can't seem to get out of bed because I miss Gridge so much.

And sometimes.....I really feel like Kea is looking for him when she stares out the window....

Thinking about Gridge...

(August 30, 2009)

I thought moving into a new house two days after losing Gridge may have been a blessing in disguise.

I'm not really sure anymore.

All I can do is think about how Gridge would have claimed certain areas in the new house.

Where he would have scratched up the walls.

Where he would have napped.

How he would have hated the stairs.

Where he would hide his stash of toys.

Where he and Kea would wrestle.

Kea is all alone now.

We're trying to give her as much love as possible but I think she's depressed (and rightly so)....

all she's doing lately is sleeping...

New Start

(August 29, 2009)

It's moving day.

I had a much harder time getting out of bed this morning...

then I realized Gridge would be disappointed in me if I didn't get on with it.

I continued packing before the family came over to help us move.

I went outside for something and almost stepped on a HUGE slug!

Another sign from Gridge?

He LOVED playing with slugs in Hawaii.

By the end of the day we'd finished moving all the furniture and big items to the new house.

My husband and Kea and I were surrounded by family and friends...

together they helped push us forward to a new start....whether they realized it or not.

I'm so thankful to have these people in my life.

All in all....a very bitter-sweet day for me.

Moving on....literally...

(August 28, 2009)

No time to grieve today.

We closed on the new house, so I was forced to get up and out of bed this morning.

We're also moving THIS weekend, so we had a million and a half things to do to get prepared for tomorrow's move.

I can't even think straight.

I can't believe I woke up this morning and Gridge wasn't at the side of the bed waiting to greet me.

I can't believe I didn't get any Gridge kisses today.

He's really gone.

I part of me went with him.

I'm on auto-pilot right now.

We picked up a U-Haul truck for the move after we closed on the house and happened to get a truck with a Hawaii postcard on it....

a sign from Gridge? (Gridge was born and raised -by me- in Hawaii)

He's gone...

(August 27, 2009)

I lost my Gridgery today.

It breaks my heart to write this.

It's been the worst, absolute worst, day of my life.

The past few days had been very hard on him.

I took these last photos of him yesterday....

Again, Kea wouldn't leave his side.  She must have known he was sick.

This was a new area of the yard he started laying in during the past few days.

We couldn't figure out why he changed places in the yard.

I'm took heartsick to include the details of his passing at this time.....

but we were together, as we will always be.....

Rest in peace my sweet baby boy....

Gridgery Lee 2000-2009