Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Growing.....

It's hard to believe we're going to be 14 weeks tomorrow!

Baby started as just a spec on a screen:


















And then turned into a cute...blob....




 And now baby is looking more and more like.................................... a baby!



I had a prenatal visit on Monday with my Dr. and they checked baby's heart rate with a fetal doppler.  The sound of that little child's heartbeat was absolutely mesmerizing.

I broke down and purchased one so we could hear baby's heartbeat anytime we wanted...


enjoy.......

Friday, November 25, 2011

Operation Jellyman Kelly: Retired

We're officially retiring the code name "Operation Jellyman Kelly" since at this point there shouldn't be too many posts that could potentially gross you out.

Actually, that's a lie.

I'm now pregnant...there are going to be TONS of things that could potentially gross you out.

From now on.......

read at your own risk!

; )

Operation Jellyman Kelly: The results are in...

DISCLAIMER: Any blog posts titled "Operation Jellyman Kelly" will no doubt gross you out. These posts will describe our current treatments for infertility...so if you have a weak stomach or don't know how you'd have a conversation with me in person after reading this....stop reading now. ; )

This two week wait was so entirely different than with any of the IUI’s.
 
With IUI’s you’re putting the sperm in the same vicinity as the egg(s) and hoping for a party.

With IVF…you’re starting the party and hoping it lasts.
 
For two weeks I lived life as if I had a growing miracle in my belly.
 
I ate healthier.  I rested more.  I thought positive thoughts.
 
But there was an underlying strain of fear and disappointment that kept creeping in….kept making me think I was just “pretending” all of this.  That this hadn’t worked.
 
The morning of my first blood test finally arrived and I was thrilled and terrified.
 
I’d never made it to a test date with any of the IUI’s….so this was an accomplishment.
 
But I was terrified of the results.
 
I had to go to work that day and the nurse told me to expect a phone call by noon at the office.
 
I tried my hardest to stay focused on work.
 
At 11:45 some of my co-workers invited me to go to lunch with them.  I didn’t want to get this call while I was out with others in the event of bad news and my breaking down.  But I really didn’t want to stay in the office and freak out until the call came either.  
 
I called the Dr.’s office to see if perhaps they had my results early.
 
To my absolute dismay, the office had already closed for lunch.  I’d have to call back at 2 p.m.
 
TORTURE!!!!!!!
 
I went to lunch with my co-workers and we talked about my anxiety.
 
So many things were going through my head.
 
Were they waiting to call me later in the afternoon because it was bad news?
 
Did they decide not to call me at work because it was bad news?
 
We got back to the office and I tried calling again.
 
Still closed for lunch.
 
My husband called me minutes later to find out the results.
 
“I don’t know, they haven’t called.”
“Really?  It’s almost 2 o’clock.”
“Really.”
 
Just then, call waiting.
 
It was the Dr.’s office.
 
“I gotta go!”
 
I hung up on my husband, answered the call and bolted for the nearest open conference room.
 
“Hi, it’s Kim.”
 
She didn’t sound happy.
 
My heart sank.
 
“Are you at work?”
 
My heart sank further.
 
“Yes.”
 
“Ok, well we got the results…”
 
Not breathing………….
 
“It’s good news.”
 
Silence.
 
“Test results were positive.”
 
“No way!” I shout, breathing again.
 
“Yes!  Congratulations!  So you’ll need to take another test in a few days…”
 
I didn’t hear the rest.
 
I felt a wave of emotions crashing over my head and I just held my breath, hoping I didn’t drown.
 
I hung up and immediately called my husband.
 
“Hello?”
 
“I’m sorry I hung up on you, it was the Dr.’s office calling on the other line.”
 
“I figured.”
 
“It was positive.”
 
“Are you serious?”
 
“Yes.”
 
We spoke for a few more minutes, I hung up and stayed in that empty conference room and let myself cry for about a minute.  Then I got myself together and went back to work.
 
When I got home that evening, I took a home pregnancy test….
 
I wanted to see that word I’d been longing to see for so, so long………

















Our test results a few days later also came back positive.

Then we had to wait another two weeks before our very first ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy was viable....

and guess what.....




One of our embryos held on and implanted in the right place.


And there was a heartbeat....


We're officially a GO for PREGO!!!!!!!!!!!

Operation Jellyman Kelly: And then there were 3…

DISCLAIMER: Any blog posts titled "Operation Jellyman Kelly" will no doubt gross you out. These posts will describe our current treatments for infertility...so if you have a weak stomach or don't know how you'd have a conversation with me in person after reading this....stop reading now. ; )


We got a wonderful call from Nurse Valerie a few days after transfer saying our 3 remaining embryos reached blastocyst stage and looked fantastic!!!

She said she always tells her patients it's all about quality, not quantity.

Our embryos will be frozen and kept for future use.

So if this cycle doesn’t work, we can try again without having to go through the entire process of injections, hormones, etc.

Talk about relief!!!!!!!!!

Operation Jellyman Kelly: Embryo Transfer

DISCLAIMER: Any blog posts titled "Operation Jellyman Kelly" will no doubt gross you out. These posts will describe our current treatments for infertility...so if you have a weak stomach or don't know how you'd have a conversation with me in person after reading this....stop reading now. ; )


When we left the IVF clinic after egg retrieval we were told we’d be given a report the next morning on the status of whether or not any of our eggs fertilized.

It was the most dreadful wait of them all.

There would be no guarantees here.

Sometimes eggs fertilize.  Sometimes they don’t.  Even if they’re being forced to fertilize…it doesn’t mean they’ll survive.

I tried to sleep the wait away.

But I still couldn’t help worrying that perhaps this cycle was for nothing.  Perhaps we wouldn’t even get to the transfer.

And then the phone rang.

“Hi!   it’s Valerie. “

I hold my breath.

“It’s good news.  Five of the nine eggs fertilized!”

And breathe.

“Dr. T will monitor and see how they do over the next few days and will call you on day 3 to let you know when we’ll do a transfer.”

She gave me a few more instructions and asked how I was feeling and told me to continue resting the next few days.

I don’t remember most of what she said though.

I was just thrilled that we’d made it to the next level of the process.

And then that excitement turned to dread when I realized I’d have to wait another two days to see if we’d really get to the next level.  Our five precious embryos would have to develop correctly you see…otherwise they would not qualify for a transfer.

The next two days were hell for me.

I kept thinking our embryos would die and this would all be for naught.

I again tried sleeping away the wait.

And then it was the morning of September 11th.  Day 3.  I woke early, hoping for the best.  I showered, got myself ready….just in case.

And the phone rang.

“This is Dr. T.”

I hold my breath….again.

“I think we’ll go ahead and do the transfer today.  You have all the details that Valerie provided?”

I tell him I do.

“Ok, see you at 11.”

Dr. T is not a talker.  It was very awkward speaking to him on the phone.  Even more awkward than in person….but the man knows what he’s doing, so I don’t mind.

I tell my husband we’re a go for the transfer and he asks how many embryos survived.

OMG.

I didn’t even THINK to ask.

I was just thrilled we were moving on to the next step!

I tell my husband I didn’t ask and that we should go with the number 1 in our heads.  Let’s assume 1 embryo survived (since you need at least one for a transfer) and if we find more survived, we’ll be happy and excited.   
My husband accepts this plan.

One hour before transfer, you have to drink a ridiculous amount of water so that your bladder is as full as possible.  This apparently helps the Dr. visualize your uterus via ultrasound.

I’ve had dear friends go through this process…and both mentioned the full bladder for transfer was the most uncomfortable part of the entire IVF process.

Lie; they did not.

Dr. T came in and showed us a photo of the two healthiest looking embryos of the 5 that were STILL ALIVE and told us he’d be transferring them both.

My husband and I were ecstatic.

The embryologist wheeled our embryos in, verified they were ours (awkward!) and we were off and running.

Thankfully, the procedure was quick.

I was instructed to lie on my back for 30 minutes and the nurse told me I could try to hold it or she could get me a bedpan.

I’d never used a bedpan before.  I told her I’d try to hold it.

And 30 seconds later I sent my husband running for a bedpan.

Embarrassing?  Sure.  But soooooo worth it.

I lay there for 30 minutes, holding my husband’s hand, starring at the ultrasound monitor where we just watched our two precious embryos enter my uterus....still thrilled that we transferred two good looking embryos and still had 3 more.   Now we just needed those 3 to survive to blastocyst stage so that they’d be eligible for freezing.  If we’re able to freeze them….we have another shot if this cycle doesn’t work.


















In no time we were back home and I was on 2 days of strict bed rest.

And then  the two week wait………

Friday, November 18, 2011

So behind!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh, time just keeps getting away from me when it comes to blogging!

When I’m not moonlighting as an oompa loompa or cabin camping in West Virginia…I’m thinking about blogging!

Blogging about why I ever stopped dressing up for Halloween.

Blogging about why I love my friends, so, so much.

Blogging about my wonderfully quirky family.

About love, and loss.

Leaky ceilings.

Everything!

But time always seems to get away from me!

So, in the interest of time and still trying to give you a peek into our life as of late...here are a few photos of the past several weeks....







I know these photos don't really tell you all that much....but just know that I'm around, living life, keeping busy and loving every minute of it.

To be continued!!!!!!!!