Friday, July 9, 2010

Death Match of Love

(February 14, 2009)

The husband and I decided to ring in Valentine's day 2009 with an oddball burlesque/comedy show titled "Death Match of Love" at Gallery 5 in Richmond.

We invited our friends Sara and Shawn to accompany us.

I had no idea what to expect when we got to Gallery 5...which worked heavily in my favor.

We were greeted at Gallery 5 by a woman decked out in red and a crazy-eyed dog (don't get me wrong, he was adorable...but he had crazy eyes).

Gallery 5 is a pretty small venue...the seating was general admission and the chairs weren't the most comfortable...but once the show started...seating was the last thing on your mind.

The audience was a hodge-podge of young and old, hip and unhip, male/female pairs, female/female pairs, female/male/female pairs, etc.

Because I had no idea what to expect of the show, I was pleasantly (and sometimes wrongly-so) surprised.

There was love, poetry (awesome poetry I might add), sex, a woman dressed as a clown doing bad things with balloons, more poetry, a swing dance that ended with both participants losing most of their clothing, a mexican wrestling spanking champion, strip-teases, an elderly couple teaching us about sexual reproduction, more poetry, a melodramatic tranny and more.

My favorite part of the show came when the poet that led the audience from act to act came onto the stage and got a call on his cell phone. "A package? For me? Cool! Can you bring it on stage?"

An unknown person with a very sparkly purple dress covered in balloons walked onto the stage.

The poet had to pop the balloons to reveal who was wearing the purple dress.

As he began popping the balloons, the crazy-eyed dog I told you about that greeted us at the door went crazy! He didn't like the sound of the popping balloons and immediately ran up to the stage and started barking at the performers. He was a small dog, so he couldn't actually get onto the stage, but that didn't stop him from trying. He kept jumping and jumping, knocking decorations off the front of the stage. The entire audience became one in a laugh-fit nobody could control. The dog just kept barking. my surprise...that tiny little dog launched himself onto the stage. At this point, the performer in the purple dress still hadn't been revealed and the poet knelt down and tried to pick up the dog. He was greeted with a vicious bark and snarl. My stomach began to ache because I was laughing so hard. About 30 seconds later the owner of the venue was running onto the stage to grab the dog. It was a complete accident...but it was my absolute favorite part of the show! =)

The performer in the purple dress turned out to be the was quite entertaining.

The poet came out and recited a final poem at the end of the was so deep, so intense that he collapsed (as part of the show) and the rest of the performers figured the only way to revive a fallen poet was with a good old fashioned....orgasm.



So....the main performer got the rest of the cast together to form a choir, if you will.

The men shouted, the women gasped, someone shouted "YES", another shouted "OH MY GOD" and it all formed a perfectly harmonious and collective...orgasm.

It was....hilarious.

They all checked on the fallen poet.

Nope, he was still down.

So the cast called upon the audience to help.

Think Peter Pan and clapping to revive Tinkerbell...I do believe in fairies, I do believe in fairies...

In a fanastic finale, the entire audience screamed and shouted out in awkward unison to revive the fallen poet (talk about getting to know the person sitting next to you)....

and a moment later (maybe two), the poet arose, we all had a great laugh...and the show wrapped.

Fantastic show.

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